[91] Party hardy

“I like his balls. The plastic ones…you know, in the bag…C’mon!” there you go Lauren. lol.

So I’ve been tryiing to get myself to finish this post…all day. I’ve just left it open since like 11am and its currently 12am…*lazy*

So anyway! Yesterday (Saturday night) I went over to Chrissy’s once again with Lauren. We were supposed to hang out with other girls from Jasmin Sola but we couldn’t get a hold of them and stuff, so it was only us three, and Alex stopped by for a while but she left within the half hour cuz her friends were buggin I guess. It was fun as hell though. I was sort of skeptical about drinking at first. FOr some reason I wanted to but I couldn’t bring myself to do it simply because I don’t like beer, and some of the stuff we had there was like WHOA. I would’ve had to take it straight up as shots and I wasn’t too into that idea, especially since I hadn’t eaten. But we ordered a pizza from Dominos and bread sticks…which I feel we got jipped on. I don’t understand why Domino’s pizza sizes are so fucking small…I knew Mediums were like normal Small pizzas, so Im like ‘we should get the **Extra Super Gande” thinking it would be huge enough for everyone..Nope. I was so wrong. lol. It was like…a bigger Medium pizza that wasn’t quite a large yet…pathetic.

So I stuffed my face and got a beer. Played some Beer Pong and actually did unusually well! Took a few shots of Captain Morgan and Ketel One Vodka, a little bit f Bailey’s…and like 4-5 beers. Chrissy, Lauren and I danced a lot together and at one point we had a 30way makeout session. Haha. It was…pretty wild and awesome. I behaved really well though~ I didn’t initiate any of the kissing or anything. When its between Lauren and I, I’m usually the one that starts it now a days. I’m glad I drank to a nice medium. I wasn’t shit faced but I was inebriated enough to feel awesome and trip a bit. I didn’t get too drunk where I felt nauseous either.

This one guy that was there…tall as fucking all hell, was there. His name was Chris I think, he was blonde and had that…Skater…Emover…sort of thing going on with his hair. It was like Doan’s but not as long, and he was like blonde. He, apparently, likes me a lot. He tried to get my name from Everett but he wouldn’t tell him so he came up to Lauren, asked her name and shook her hand, then came to me and when I told him my name he kissed my hand. It was so sweet! He’s kinda cute too…although Lauren doesn’t agree. But we have different taste in guys anyway lol

Toby showed up around like 12:30 or later, but it was nice. I apparently called him my little asian…lol I think we played BP together too. I don’t remember how we did but Im assuming we lost. BP can get really frustrating…I’m getting better but every once in a while, your shot fucks you over and just sins around at the rim and falls out, or you aim it incorrectly by like a millimeter and it just hits the rim and flies off somewhere. -_-

At around like 2:30 or 3am the cops came and told us to all leave~ but we didn’t really. We all just went outside, had some cigs (not me of course but mostly everyone else did), then we went back upstairs into Everett’s cuz technically they wanted us to leave Chrissy’s…and Everett lives right across the hall from Chrissy. lol. So after, we went back to Chrissy’s. Evy stayed at his place and went to sleep cuz he had to get up early in the morning. Lauren, Mike, Toby and I sat in Chrissy’s living room listening to music. We had the drunken munchies so we made pizza bites..and pizza cuz SOMEBODY fucken ate the rest of my pizza and bread sticks without asking…I was pissed. T_T Eventually, songs that Lauren despised started playing so he left and I stayed there. Mike went to bed and Toby and I wnt to sleep on this huge matress that Chrissy, for some reason, has leaning against the wall in the living room. We sorta cuddled but not really.

When I woke up the next morning…my god. My body was aching like hell. For some reason, that matress was the most uncomfortable one in this entire world, and fricken Toby was taking up all the room! He’s about the same size as me, so I dont know how he took up so much room, but he did. Eventually I just pushed him and was like “bitch move!” lol We also both woke up very sick…not from drinking. Our voices were all nasal-like and we had a headache and our noses were all icky and shit…it was awful. So its official: I’ve got a cold. Which I know how it happened too…its from going to the club on Thursday night and standing out int he line when its freezing.

Toby gave me a ride home at like 10. He had work at 12~ it was sweet of him to offer. I felt bad cuz I felt like I was way out of the way…but he didn’t seem to care. When I got in, I don’t think my dad was too happy about it but he didn’t say much and he was in a fine mood after I got home. Once I got to my room I checked facebook, cuz Everett kept making fun of me for being on the “Are you interested?” application on facebook..he said he clicked on “yes Im interested” on me lol funny funny..so I checked it, and it’s true, he did. But then next to his picture I saw someone else…

Hanh (Doan’s younger brother) had clicked Yes on me as well, and since I clicked yes on him a little while ago…we had made a match. I keep thinking “Is he joking? Did he click it by accident?” but the way the application is set up:

“Are you interested in _____?”

[Yes (let them know)] [Yes (Anonymous)] | [No]

So it’d be easier to just click no, or to accidentally hit Yes Let them Know. But the way he did it, he hit Anonymous. The only way I saw that we had made a Match, is because I went into “My Matches” and he was there. I went into “Who likes me” and he wasn’t there. So what that means is he clicked on Anonymous but since I clicekd yes on him, it shows up in my matches, but it won’t show him in the lst of Who likes Me because he chose to stay hidden, just like for when I clicked on him, I chose to do Anonymous as well. So I’lls how up in His Matches, but not in “Who Likes Me” for him.

Does that make sense? lol So…Lauren was right. Hanh likes me o_o;

Aside from that, not much has gone on. I’ve gone out almost every night, and tonight I just stayed home and got my hair done (FINALLY!). Tomorrow (technically, today since its 1:41am at the moment) is New Years Eve. I have work at Fuji’s from 5-9 possibly earlier or later…not sure. Then after that I really don’t have any plans…Lauren and I haven’t decided on what to do yet.

Theres stuff that I could write, that involves Luis, but I really don’t feel like it. Just know, that he’s confusing, he hates the fact that I go party and have “changed” and he still wants me in his life. He wants to date, but not go out. So he wants to have his cake and eat it to. WHich isn’t fucking happening, EVER. You don’t get to be with me without the strings attatched. We’re either together, or we’re not. Not some bullshit in between. Even so, I told him I couldn’t ever see myself with him again because i can’t trust hima nd I don’t want that stupid cunt he went out with in his life, if he’s going to be with me. And I know he won’t do any of those things for me so fuck him. Plus, I’m over him. I’ve got better guys in my life right now.

…Ok I said I wasn’t going to write about him but I sprta went on a mini rant and did anyways. Ha~ Silly me.

I downloaded a crapload of 80’s music for my mom. I was playing “Do ya think Im sexy” by Rod Stuart and she freaked out yelling “I LOVE THAT SONG!!!” so it was a real treat to share that sort of thing with her. <3 her. but Im still pissed at her for having a bf…my sister is pissed about it too…we both agree it’s a terrible thing to do to my Father…but my sister is keeping her mouth shut. While she does that, Im being a prick to my mom about it. It’s like I’m HER mother now. It’s a little odd. But hey…its gotta be done.

[90] Hatred

Aries: Instead of just waiting for happily ever after, focus on what makes you happy now. Live in the present…

I hate that you break down every wall I put up against you. I hate that I still love you. I hate that you left me. I hate that you’re so confusing. I hate that you know you hurt me, but do nothing to prevent it. I hate that you come back to me, but still don’t want to be with me.

I just…hate you.

[89] Bow chika wow wow!

So I never updated yesterday about the previous night…so I’ll do it now.
On wednesday night, Lauren and I went over to Chrissy’s and Everett’s to have a little “party” thing. It was raining out, so some people that Chrissy invited weren’t able to make it but it was fine. Lauren had brought Ketel One Vodka and Orange Juice… she attempted to make a Screwdriver, which she usually makes and they’re great, but this time…my goodness. It was like pure Vodka. It was far too strong and I couldn’t drink it. I got nauseous just by smelling the drink @_@;;
We went to Essex and joined a party there for a bit. Everett was there with his friend Toby. He told me Toby was really nice and single and would treat me right and stuff. I like Toby~ he really IS a nice guy. Almost too nice…but like, I dunno. When Evy was talking to me, I noticed Toby would make eye contact with me. I guess he liked me before I even attempted to do anything. We started talking just fine and we got pretty close. It was nice having someone to talk to without having to put so much effort in…usually when I’m there I feel sort of like an outcast :/ if I were more open, I wouldn’t have an issue buuuut I’m just not.
I played GH3 and apparently it impressed Toby. He said Lauren and I were dream girls cuz we like VGs and stuff. Apparently he also thinks Im perfect lol I didn’t have much to drink, so I was fine to drive. But it was super late and I liked Toby’s company so I ended up spending the night at Evy’s apt. Toby and I slept in Sean’s bed… which was a little awkward in the morning when I woke up and Sean was sitting at his computer and he didn’t know I was going to be there >_> but he didn’t seem to mind. Toby was a gentleman though. We did cuddle, and the most he did was kiss my cheek or forehead so it was really sweet~ we talked a lot too. He told me he felt relaxed with me and it was unusual cuz he’s not normally like that. Heh~
He didn’t get much sleep because we talked so much. I felt bad because he had work at 7am and we didnt sleep till 5…I had work at 1 so I was good to go. But he made it, even though he was an hour and a half late.
Oh yeah! Lauren and I wore out RvB shirts. Everyone kept bugging her about the fact that her shirt said “Red Army” but the color of the shirt is Pink. Which is stupid. If you don’t watch the show, then shut the fuck up cuz you’re not going to understand… this one particular guy was a dick about it though. As if its necessary to get bent out of shape over the color of a shirt. Besides, Pink is a form of Red.
Last night, Chrissy and I went to a club in Springfield! It was my first experience at a club and omg…so weird. It was crowded as hell and it got soooo hot. It was fun though. But man am I out of shape….my legs were killing me by the time we left! They still hurt a bit. I was really shy and I felt out of place but eventually I just said fuck it and went with it… although I hated that Doan was there. Fucking twat. I dont like that he talks to me when I don’t approach him. I don’t like that I saw him dancing with other girls and I don’t understand why the majority of the time, he was watching me O_o weirdo. He was at the after party too…I got pissed.
I didn’t drink much again…I don’t understand why. I enjoy drinking and getting tipsy/drunk but lately I just…won’t do it. I start off by going “yeah Im getting shit faced tonight” but then I only have like…2-3 drinks and I’m done. Its starting to bug me. But its ok…I still have fun.
Luis kept bugging me. He texted me and called me before I went to the club, saying he wants to talk to me about “us”. I told him I’d call him after the club. So I did and I’m like “What do you want to talk about?” and he decides that he doesn’t want to talk to me when I’m at a party (even though I was outside, away from everyone). So I’m like ok whatever… and he starts saying “I can’t believe you. You won’t make time for me.” and he says he wants me to come over after I’m done and I told him I was in no position to drive because I had a couple drinks, and I made plans beforehand and I’m not leaving the party to talk to him and get upset. He said it was important tot him and yadda yadda…He was being a dickwad. So eventually I just shut off my phone and got back to my business. I just dont get it…ugh.
I spent the night there again, with Toby. It wasn’t intentional really (I planned to stay over but not to sleep with Toby). I went to Evy’s after the party and played RockBand in his room and eventually I just…fell asleep next to Toby in Evy’s bed. I’m surprised he didn’t kick us out of his bed lol But yeah…it was a good night though. I enjoyed myself, even if two of the worst guys in my life were getting to me. Toby was there for me though <3 he’s so sweet.
I woke up early but I didn’t do much but lay in bed with Toby. We cuddled a bit too but not too much. It was too hot @_@ we talked a bit too but nothing serious. just fucken around. He sorta massaged me too~ he likes touching my skin and my face and stuff. Hes super gentle. Eventually he sighed and said “I want to do awful things to you” I couldn’t help but bust out laughing. It just sounded funny. But he was able to laugh too so its all good. I like tat he can control himself~ makes it easier for me.
I’m starving, and I have lots to do before wotk at Fujis. Alot more shit happened that I could write about but Im on a time constraint. Toddles lovies!

[88] Musica, maestro!

I have work in like an hour, and i need to start getting ready so I’m just going to post my newest favoritest song EVAR! And when I get home I’ll write about last nights awesome

Paramore – Stop This Song

Lyrics 

[87] Christmas and junk

:] Im updating on my brand spankin’ new iMac! I got it for Christmas <3 Its so pretty and huge…its the Intel Duo Core Prcoessor one…the latest one to come out. Its pretty hot. Im still getting used to it, since Ive been on laptop for the passed like 3 years and stuff. I havent set everything up yet either…but Im workin on it.I had to do so much shit to get this thign in my room and set it up. My room is relitively small, do I don’t have much space to work with. I changed the position of my bed, I got rid of a lot of things (a chinese chest I had, game systems I no longer use, clothes and other anonymous junk) and I got everthing that was on my dresser off and just put the iMac on the dresser itself. I still dunno what Im going to do with the crap that was on my dresser. Its currently sitting on my bed. lol.

Christmas was…bad. Luis told me today he wants to “date” me but not go out with me. I think its just another game: he just says he wants to date me because I told him not to peak to me unless he wanted to be with me again. By saying he wants to date me, it’s basically insinuating that at one point in time, through dating, he’ll be with me again and will commit to me. But in reality, it’s a cover up for “I dont want to go out with you but I want the satisfaction of knowing youre going to be my bitch, without the strings attatched.” so he gets the best of both worlds…Im so not falling for that shit. Im smarter than that. Hes been texting me for a while now…like sometime ago he texted me and told me he broke up with his gf (I found out today he dated her for 2 months). He also said he wants to hang out with me but hes afraid I’ll get emotional and attached… which is silly because I didnt respond to him at all and he kept spamming my phone. At one point he actually texted me saying “Why are you ignoring me?” and on Christmas Eve he calls me and says he wants to see me before Christmas because its the happiest time of the year and it wouldnt feel right spending it without me…if that were true, if it truly meant that much to him, he would have thought of that before leaving me for some stupid hideous cunt. But whatever.

Johnny messaged me on Christmas too. He wanted to hang out and give me my present. He got me a Hello Kitty sketch book! Its pretty sweet. Im surprised he got me anything, Im even more surprised that he talked to me again. For the passed like 3 weeks hes been avoiding me hardcore. But he has said he loves me…and if you have strong feelings for someone like that, you’re always going to come back to them, especially if there are unresolved things between you two.

I miss Ryuki. I told him I’d be home at 1:30 and unfortunately I wasn’t home till 3am…I didnt count on it. I tried to leave asap from Johnny’s, but I underestimated how long it takes to get back home…it takes like 30 minutes. Which is retarded. I hope he isn’t mad at me. Ive come to learn that he’s quite possessive when it comes to me. He doesn’t want Luis getting in the way of what we have, he sure as hell doesn’t want me seeing Kenny either. But its understandable… They ARE my ex’s. Its cute though…I can’t wait to go see him~ we’re going to have such a good time together, even if we do absolutely nothing.

I started talking to Devin again. It’s weird though… everytime we talk, our past comes up. We talk about how much we cared for each other and how with each other, nothing ever went wrong and we never fought. It was the happiest time of our lives and it was somehow ruined. We never truly dated but we always wanted to, and in all honestly, we still love each other just not as much as we used to because naturally, people do drift apart. He still wants to have something with me but at the same time he doesn’t because I live so far, and he wouldn’t want one of us to fuck things up and hurt the other person by finding someone that lives closer…so its all good reasoning, and it makes sense. I almost made him cry though because I reminded him of how happy he was. He was different with me. I’m the only person in this entire world that makes him as happy as he gets, and he still loves me unconditionally, no matter how stupid I get or the stupid decisions I make. He even told me I was the only one he ever thought of marrying and starting a family with. Granted we were young, but he’s about…4 years older than me so its not too, too bad. But yeah…I miss him but I wish that we could just hang out and be chill with each other. But I don’t, cuz I don’t know what will happen. But talking does no harm.

I’m really tired, and I dont know what else to write…so Im going to bed.

[86] Fly away

Im going to Oregon in January. I need to get away from CT for a while.

[85] SKANK TANKS!

Soo! Its been a while!

^-^ Ive been doing pretty damn awesome the passed few days. I found out that Jahmel’s roommate, Joe, likes me but also has a girlfriend…he also doesn’t mind flirting/hitting on me despite that fact O_o; its flattering, but…its like what if I DID date him? Would he do that shit to me? lol So Im not gonna bother to try to like him. I also found out that Paul, Jahmel’s friend, likes me as well. Hes actually really cool and sweet~ He added me on facebook, we talk on aim every so often and he gave me his number and such. I think I could be pretty awesome friends with him.

The other night when I went over to Jahmel’s dorm…it was awkward. They were studying and working on final papers and such but every so often Joe owuld just…make a comment, try to talk to me, or have some sort of physical interaction with me. Like…I laid down in his bunk, since I had my boots on (which are a bitch to take off and put on) and Jahmel sleeps on the top bunk. Joe obviously didn’t mind, but once he was done studying, he sat next to me and gavae me like 2 hugs and stuff…and when his friend dropped off some gummy bears for them, he offered me one but instead of giving it to me in my han he decided to FEED it to me, despite the fact that I was tryin to just take it from his hand -_- and then when I drove them to McDonalds, Jahmel made a stupid comment and Joe said “It seems like you want me and Contessa to hook up. Would that make you happy, Tess?” I told him straight up “Ok, you have a girlfriend so Im not going to bother answering that.”…hes cute, hes nice, but I just…he’s too ghetto. He calls me baby girl and junk and flat out hits on me in every way that I hate…if he really wants me to like him, he should get some tips from Paul cuz at least Paul is trying to get to know me and be my friend first.

On Monday I had work at JS at around…1pm. I went in, worked for an hour, and at 2:10pm we had to evacuate the customers int he store, lock the gatesand turn the lights off because some issues were going on at Macy’s and some electrical wires and shit. The 1st and 2nd floor of our side of the mall was shut down basically. It was fucking AWESOME. Nyciantia, Jesse, Jahmel, Toya, Katie, Lauren and I just sat around int he store…talking and eating. At one point in time we left the store and just walked around the mall. Then when we came back, Lauren and I played dress up and just put random ass shit on in the store! lol and we got PAID still. It lasted until 7…which is when I was off the clock. So my entire shift was spent messing around with no work whatsoever. Best day ever.

I had today off though. Nina tried to get me to take her 5 – 10 shift just because Jahmel was making her drive his “bf” to JFK Airport at 1am. as if its her fuckin responsibility to take someone elses boyfriend to an airport at some obscure time of the fricken night/morning…I didn’t take it though. I figured she had plenty of time to rest up before having to drive, plus with Jahmel int he car, nobody would ever get any sleep cuz he’s loud as hell…and its not my obligation to take her shift.  I wont be surprised if she’s upset and I hear Jahmel bitch at me on Thursday.  Dun care though.

I went to dinner with Lauren at Fuji’s and then we hung out at Everett’s apartment. It was awesome. Im glad I’m capable of cheering her up after having a crummy day~ <3 We were fucking nuts though…we got our leftover food wrapper up and I drew all over the packaging and gave it to Everett. It’s like we were on crack O_o; he found it entertainging though and we frankly didn’t care…but at dinner I got a text message.  From Luis.

It said “Just to let you know, I broke up with her a week ago…”…I got so pissed the moment I saw his number show up in my phone. I wanted to scream, I was on the verge of crying and Lauren took the phone and deleted the message and told me to calm down and just not think of it, so I did. But then at Lauren’s house he called me twice. I didn’t answer of course. I had no reason to. Why the fuck is he contacting me? Does he seriously think telling me he broke up with the dumb bitch will change ANYTHING? Cuz its not going to. I gave him a chance, the window of opportunity closed a long ass time ago. We’re completely over. I don’t need to remember him. In fact, I dont. I just remember his number and how much I despise him. And thats how its goin to stay.

On a lighter yet odd note: I had a dream of a gigantic spider! WTF! It like chased me and sat in its web and just kinda stared at me with its billions of eyes and it was nasty. I dunno what it means. But I dont like dreamin of spiders.

So. I think Lauren and I got each other the same gift…and if we did, it’s goin to be hilarious! So we decided to get each other something else just in case. Cuz we’re both pretty damn certain we got each other the same fucking thing. Hah. We’re silly.

Oh yeah! Also, she bought GH3 for her PS2 and we named our band “Skank Tanks”…pretty awesome, huh? :]

Thats all for now…1 more thing.

 Sarah Bareilles – Love Song