[115] Goodbye~

Hello everyone…I’m basically updating to confirm the previous post: This Blog itself, as much as I love it, will no longer be updated. I guess the reason is that there are people in here that read my blog, that I frankly don’t want them to read it (and no it’s not just 1 person, its a few.). Some know who they are… others will assume its them. I frankly am not going to specify. It’s nothing personal, really. Just some of you can’t keep your comments to yourselves and have yet to realize that just because my blog is public, it doesn’t mean I want your feedback or any sort. Others feel that when they read my bog, they think they need to take matters into their own hands and confront the people that encounter me and lecture them about decisions I make, when they don’t even really have all the facts. Others don’t really need to know anything that goes on in my life… specific others. I know I can just set this to private, but then those that I do want and am fine with reading this would have to register and get their own and blah blah blah, and some of them just don’t want their own blog or anything, so it would basically be too much of a hassle. I’ve already made another Blog somewhere else, and as I see here, I can have an unlimited amount of blogs tied to this one account… so maybe, sometime in the future I’ll create a blog on here once again. Who knows, maybe I already have…So yes. Byebye~ <3 

[114] Over

Thats it, I’m done. No more chances, no more games. I’m just…fucken done. On another note; new blog. Will I update this one anymore? I have no fucken idea. Where’s the new one? You don’t need to know. 

[113] WoOoOoOooo~~~!!!!!

Im drunk. And its fucken awesome. Its about time I get drunk and not just buzzed. Although I’m not completely off the handle. I’m still capable of driving (haha, not the smartest decision to make at the moment, I fucken know so shut it. I did it anyways.) and typing and talking on the cell (not at the same time, retards!)Awesome night.  I’m…very hungry now. Hrm.  I forgot my shot glass again!!!! 

[112] This is why

We can’t ever be friends. You love to start drama, for no reason at all.

WOW | whatever@asshole.com | IP: 75.42.154.88

your right, dont explain yourself to me , explain yourself to the ” friend” you ditched.

And also The Conversation of which you decided to start drama from. Grow up.

On another note…Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Chocolate sounds positively disgusting. O_o

[111] Yo!

Fuck! I forgot my tip at work!!! >_< It was only $12 but still…I want my money D: Id drive back and get it because its literally 5 minutes away from my house if not less…but…I dunno…I’ll get it next week…

I’ve been trying to fnish this entry for the longest! My gawd. I just don’t want to >_<;;;

But anyhow I’ll just…make it short. Jen invted me to go to NYC on monday but…I didn’t know it was going to be just 4 of us (Jen, her bf Joe, me and Ryan). That doesn’t seem so appealing. I figured it’d be a larger group, its more fun that way. Its awkward enough hanging out with Jen and Joe because theyre dating and they usually reside in their own little world when in groups of people…but they also want to go to the Museum of Natural History and…embarrassingly enough, the Museum of Sex. I refuse to go to both of those. I went to the former, and many other museums when I was younger, on field trips from school so I really don’t want to go to them again. The latter, being embarrassing as hell and awkward and just seems far too silly…when Jen mentioned she wanted to go to the museum of sex I laughed and jokingly  I said “I am the Museum of Sex!”

I feel like the amount of money thats being put into this trip to NYC just isn’t worth it…it seems like a waste to go to a Museum to me. I’ve been to them, I’m over them…also, our transportation. We’re going bu train and that costs about $25 and it’d be cheaper to drive there in one car and split up the gas price between the 4 of us. Also, we’re leaving relatively early from NYC because some have work, and the majority of us have classes the very next day. Just seems like a waste…it could be better. So…I don’t think I’m gonna go. Maybe another time with MORE people because I enjoy larger groups when it comes to trips like that.

Earlier that night I went to Philly’s myspace and he changed his status to “In a Relationship” so I went to him and a funny conversation between us happened. It was, in my opinion, cute as hell.

Me: Oo whats this update in your profile! “In a relationship” huh? Whos the lucky skank? :]

Phill: You. You’re the skank! XD

Me: Damn right I’m the skank.

I thought it was hilarious. He called me that night and told me he told his friends Jeff and Tony that we had done the deed and his v-card was no longer available. I thought it was funny that he had brought it up randomly and had said to his friends, just like this…”So uh, I’m not a virgin anymore guys.” which…I can totally hear him saying that in his…his special way. And I like that he’s comfortable enough to tell his closest friends about his experiences even if they are intimate ones. I sure as hell am comfortable telling things like that so its a relief that he wouldn’t get upset and does the same.

At one point, the fact that my Mom asked me right away if I slept with him came up, because his friends basically all asked, right away, if he had. Phill flat out said that if my mother were to ever ask how it was he’s say “It was Awesome.” and…we laughed so much at that…because he said it exactly how I would say it, and then I realized that…that’s just how he would say it too. So in a way, how we talk, is very much similar and I like that we have that in common. So it was a very nice conversation…I felt like he truly was my bf and I didn’t stop smiling for a long time and even now as I write htis I have the goofiest smile on my face.

But then he started talking about one of his best friends who happens to be female and it made me sort of uncomfortable. He said that he didn’t want her seeing him in a different way, or in a negative way, because of the fact that he’s no longer a virgin and supposedly..she is as well and whatever and it’s like…why would it matter? You shouldn’t judge someone on whether or not they are a virgin or not, and if she really is your best friend…she wouldn’t think of you differently…sex is sex. Everyone does it at one time or another…But the relationship they have…the way they he spoke of it made me feel really uncomfortable like…I couldn’t help but think “Does he like her? Or Vice Versa?” because it just didn’t’ seem..natural or normal. I dunno. I did get a little bit possessive at the time and it started to bug me but w/e…

I was talking to my Dad the other day and he told me he’s buying a Mustang o_o we should be getting it sometime this week. Its a 93′ Mustang Convertible but what kind exactly, I’m not sure…He’s getting it for $700 which is amazing but iffy so I asked him hat was wrong with the car, that it was being sold for almost nothing and he said there was absolutely nothing wrong with it…other than a flat tire because the original owner hadn’t driven the car AT ALL for more than a year and it was just sitting in the garage the entire time…so it’s like…basically free. So I warned him right away “You better be careful, I might just take that car from you and you can have the Sentra.” he laughed and said I could drive the Mustang anytime I wanted for as long as I wanted! So I’m pretty fucken stoked. I haven’t stopped talking about it since then.

I’m supposed to go to a party over at Chrissy’s tonight and she said I HAVE to get drunk tonight because 95% f the times I’m over there, I never get drunk, I just get…buzzed and I have fun that way but at the same time I don’t really have as much fun as I could be having and they worry because they just…they know how I am. If I’m not distracted or totally inebriated, my thoughts get the better of me and I get sad D: and they don’t want me to ever frown and they enjoy my company…so I’m going to try and get more buzzed than usual but not borderline passed out slurred speech and molesting of any attractive guy near me drunk lol

I was talking to Hanh too, through Facebook. We’ve been talking more frequently which is nice. I’ve always wanted to be friends with him cuz he’s a rally cool person and he’s nice. He has such a cool style too, and he bboys so he’s like wining all sorts of cool points. I invited him to Chrissy’s tonight and Monday night and he said he’d try to make it, but if not that I know where he lives. So, in a way I guess he was inviting me over but then Im like “…I don’t know where you live…I never have O_o” I dunno how he got the idea that I did. lol. But he told me he lives right by Cedar Creek Apts (Which is where Chrissy’s apt is) I thought that was pretty cool. I dunno if he’s gonna show up or not but if he does, it’d be pretty cool and we could talk korean music or dramas and shit lol

Arg! I need to…find something to wear. I don’t wanna do laundry though D:! I would wear the same outfit as yesterday cuz…hell, I liked it a lot. But I took picture and posted them on facebook and myspace already so it’d be kinda weird. But I’ll figure something out!

Yo! lol :]

[110] Testing, testing 1 2 3

So I went to my test this morning at 8:50 and I checked the testing schedule and it wasn’t till 9:30…stupid twat told me 9 yesterday. But whatever…I didn’t care cuz I live RIGHT across the street from the college anyways so I just went home for a bit then went back.

I was kinda nervous. I mean the writing and sentence structure crap I can do fairly well. The Essay topic was a damn breeze: Write about a tough choice you have had to make and explain why you made that choice. There were so many things I could write about, it was ridiculous. But I chose the easiest and most recent: Luis. Hah. He was good for something after all.

I didn’t get to write in as much as I wanted to unfortunately so no doubt points will get marked down for not completing the topic but whatever…I wrote as best I could for 9 in the morning and a 20 minute time frame.

After that I kinda flew through the sentence structures…although when it asked about Political crap I got a little confused. I hate politics. The Math…well obviously, my skills at math are terrible…so I pretty much half-assed it all, simply because I don’t remember anything from what little math I did know in the first place. It’s really embarrassing…from what I know, the majority of my family that I know is pretty damn good in Math but when it comes to me…I just don’t get it. I don’t understand lots of things and a lot of the times I just can’t do the math even WITH a calculator because I forget the formulas and don’t bother to try and remember them because they confuse me so much…which is odd because I can do accounting just fine. O_o;;

Hour and a half later I was finished and on my way out of there. When I got home, mom was up, dressed and ready to leave. Where she was going, I’m not entirely sure but it’s no business of mine. I showed her pictures from Portland and she called Phill cute and Kagami adorable (which I was expecting since my mother adores cats almost as much as I do, if not more). After that brief session, she got up and kissed me on the lips like she used to when I was a kid. It was weird! But I ignored it and she started laughing cuz I didn’t react and then she gave me a huge hug. I didn’t know HOW to react to any of this so I just laughed it off and she was on her way.

So I’m home alone at the moment, blasting some Nightmare…which reminds me, I wanted to upload songs by them! And some other songs by other artists…

Nightmare – Over 

Nightmare – Star[K]nigh

Nightmare – Dirty

Deal – Shine 

Rise Against – Prayer for the Refugee

Dope – Theres nothing for me here 

[109] Man it up

I don’t have the energy to fully update on what happened today. Just know, that it sucked and only got better after 2 shots of Captain Morgan Tattoo. Which reminds me…I left my shot glass over at Chrissy’s…I’ll have to get that another time.

Luis came over and seeing as I’m not a total cold hearted bitch, I couldn’t just leaving him standing outside in the cold. But he decided to be honest with me for once in his goddamn miserable life. And came clean: he did date that stupid twat and he did in fact sleep with her and he just now realizes, after 5 months, that I don’t deserve to be lied to and that lying to me only made shit worse. Hrm.

Dumbass prick.

I went bowling afterwards but I didn’t really participate much. I was still uber pissed about the Luis thing. I just don’t know what to think of it. Or how to react. I just know I’m super pissed. I know I slept with 2 guys. But atleast I was honest about it, right off the bat. I never once lied to Luis. Not ONCE. And he’s been lying to me for 5 months straight, if not more. But I’d like to believe that while he dated, he didn’t lie to me. But whatever. It doesn’t change a damn thing. It’s too late for him to try and change things…and after learning he actually did sleep with her, I just…I feel disgusting for ever being intimate with him. And the fact that he even attempted to hold my hand in the car afterwards…just pisses me off.

I dunno. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t even want to think about it. I just needed to write it down. At least, a summary of it.

I need to go to bed, I have a test in the morning…and then work at like 5. But by the time I finish the test (its about 2 hours long) I won’t be tired enough to go back to sleep…ugh. Whatever. It’s gotta be done.