[292] Even a little pain is precious…

OLIVIA – A Little Pain

Lyrics below.

[288] Time to realize youre worthwhile

Blaaaaah I’m rather tired, I actually don’t want to update this but since I said I was going to…

I dont wanna go into too much detail about certain events about last night cuz its really not my place to say much of it. But it involves Everett and it actually bugs the hell out of me so much. He does have a girlfriend now but that actuallY i don’t care about. I care about who it is and everything, and then what he had the nerve to say to me after he told me he had a girlfriend which was “I dont know why we didn’t work out. We were extremely close.” thats the short version. Thats just a wtf statement.

After that (theres a hell of a lot more to it but I dont feel like going into what specifically went down. Just know it involved a bowling alley, waiting for an hour and a half, and then promptly leaving once things started actually happening Was nice to see some people though. I miss some of em.). I was going to head over a girlfriends house just to talk and vent about everything thats been bugging me. Everett was one thing, but that was just from that night… most of the things I wanted to talk about were things that were piling up overtime, and pretty much plaguing me and then like… decisions Ive been making and crap. But that went shitty and I changed my mind due to more things I’m not allowed to talk about.

After that I went over Kyle’s house. By this time it was like 3am and he was just getting off of work. I needed the company and I figured… if I cant get love from Everett or someone else…. why not Kyle? I mean he already says he loves me, and hes wanted to spend time with me for a while now…

When I got there I was rather shy and he seemed distant, but he was actually just being respectful. he wasn’t sure what I wanted or what I was expecting so he just took it slow. It was nice though. No expectations, no strings attached… And things happened that I actually wasn’t counting on. Its been about 3 months now and I actually was intimate with Kyle again and I loved it. It was nice engaging in that sort of activity with someone that genuinely cares about and loves you… its about time… 4 times…. and quite a few times he told me he loved me. We talked a lot too about everything and  a lot of things became clear… he lves me, and he sees things in me that I want Luis to see, and he also sees what Luis has seen and regardless he loves me! Its unconditional love, and its everything i’ve ever wanted. I dont have to do anything differently,  dont have to bow down to him and do everything he says, I dont have to fight for his attention and I never feel neglected… its just so surprising to me. I’m not sure why. And when I think about how Kyle loves me and compare to how.. Luis ‘loved’ me, which Im beginning to think he never even did and never will, it just… it blows Luis out of the water. Its pretty much like Kyle is the man of my dreams, the one I should spend my time with and Luis is just a distant nightmarish mistake.

I’m hoping that in time… I’ll fall in love with Kyle. I mean really… its stupid not to. Of course it’ll take time, but I’m sure I’ll get there eventually and I know he’ll still be there for me.

So yeah… I didnt get to bed till like 6:30 and this morning around 12 Kyle and I fooled around again, right before he had to go to work. After that I went to my Dad’s house and picked up my mail~ I bought Cooking Mama: World Kitchen I’m so excited to play it. I got some other junk too, tax stuff and another jury duty letter rescheduling it to september~ Mom showed up about an hour after I got there and like the entire time she was on the phone and whatever friends it is that she dragged along with her to the house kept talking to me.. and they only speak spanish so I couldnt even really talk back to them or have a full conversation… yeaaaah….

Then I got home, finally did some damn dishes and then went to work. I have yet to eat in the passed two days. Kinda lazy. I want a fricken burger. But again, too lazy.

But yeah! I went into work at 4:30 today and I just got out at 1:110am. Floorset. With just me and Jackie, we had to do eeeeverything. And Im exhausted. We got everything done though, so thats great. And I got some hours in too so yay money!  I was gonna go to Kyle’s again tonight… but Im too tired and I need gas and I dont feel like leaving the apartment again. Though I would liek to sleep next to him again… I always sleep so goddamn well next to him. its weird.

But anyway~ yeaaaaah. That is all. u_u

[283] Slip on through

I feel kinda bad cuz my entries lately have been kinda.. blah-ish… I havent gone into detail about anything that Im doing and I just babble, but of course theres reason for that. But I cant go into it… made a promise. And also i know who reads this based on what they search, how they search and when they search for my blog. It’s rather entertaining. I feel like making up information just to piss certain people off but Im not that much of a bitch and I’m not a liar.

There are things that people have talked to me about that sort of make me feel better about the situation I’ve recently put myself in (can’t go into it, sorry but don’t worry its nothing too serious. Nothing dangerous or whatever it is you may be thinking right now O_o;). People have told me, in short, that regardless of what has happened that… I’m still there. I’m still rather important despite what I think or how I feel or how things seem to be playing out… and that maybe things will go back to how they were. ANd when I hear that, it makes me feel so great, like I’m not wasting my time but then of course, I start to think… and I haven’t thought about things seriously in so long. Like I’ve mentioned before, I’ve pretty much trained myself not to think so much because it gets me in trouble, it gets me depressed and I find out things that I don’t want to know… So I started thinking and because I’m naturally pessimistic and ‘realistic’, everything these people have told me, despite their efforts to try and make me feel better or have some sort of change of heart or hope or whatever… it still just comes back to me and it all results in… What they’re saying isn’t true.

Nothing is going to change, it wont go back to how it used to be and I really am just wasting my time and that really hurts especially with how I’ve been behaving and how I’ve felt. I think that I’ve behaved in a manner that says… hey, I’ve made a lot of changes, I’m a better person, I’m not at all who I used to be… but it doesn’t matter. I am just not enough. And that really hurts, it really bothers me but what can I do? 

Theres sooo much more I can say about this but the more I go into it the more I break my promise.

There is also another thing thats been bugging me quite a bit and actually it pisses me off more than anything. This person is not a friend of mine, and I don’t know them personally because I never got the chance to for various reasons. But recent;y I came to learn some things about this person and I just have to say that I am very disappointed and I’m embarrassed because I thought you were a cool person, and I even thought you were so much better than me for certain things. But really.. you’re just a selfish little bitch. I thought you were, on some levels, sort of like me because we seemed to like the same things, and we spoke the same way and we dealt with the same things. I thought you wanted to be my friend because you thought I was cool and I admit that I wanted to be friends with you but I told you we couldn’t unless something in particular left your life, but it turns out that you just wanted to keep your ‘enemy’ closer. You thought I was a threat and you were jealous of something that no longer existed and you made someone hate me because of that. And yet this whole time you were being a skeazy bitch. You were being selfish and telling me to stay away and get over everything already. You dont know what love is. You dont know how relationships work and since you havent gotten hurt, you’re not going to learn anything. But go ahead. Have your fun and be a hypocrite. I feel bad for you and I feel stupid that I thought you were cool, and that I thought you and I had some things in common or that we ere alike. We clearly are nothing alike because I would never, ever, ever fucking do what you did no matter what happens or what someone does to me.

And it just goes to show that I am a good person. A damn good person. And everyone knows it.

Okay! Now that THATS out of the way. What else is there to discuss?…

Oh right! My dear old friends and not so friend. Ryan came to me and asked me fi I was going to this thing on some friday that amanda was having. I laughed and told him Amanda would never invite me if she had a choice and she surely wont now or ever again. And I was right. She didnt. He said he would talk to her and try to get her too and I laughed again and told him that it wouldn’t work, but he tried anyway and surely enough she said No. He was pissed. Jen was pissed. Ximena was upset. DIego was confused. I think its hilarious, I mean I’m upset that she can’t get passed her grudges. I have told everyone I have nothing against her and they know that I dont. The only issue is… all in her head apparently. So pretty much its back to High School where everyone but her hangs out with me at m place without her knowing, or extending an invitation but not expecting her to come at all because its me, and not going to her place to hang out, or hanging out at a neutral area like Jen’s or Ryan’s or Diego and Ximena’s house so we can both be there. I think its completely ridiculous, I don’t want to do that but nothing I do is gonna change anything and everyone else just stopped caring and doesn’t want to deal with the drama and said Hey… she doesnt want to then whatever but we’re not ignoring you just cuz someones gonna throw a hissy fit.

Another thing that I find hilarious… actually it’s two more things, about this situation. Amanda is pissed at me and hates me for something I wrote on my blog and she doesnt like the fact that I wrote my thoughts out about a situation regarding her and a bunch of other crap. I seem to remember a situation where she wrote something about Jen and Joe, and Jen got a bit upset and confronted her about it and her excuse was “Its just a blog, I can write anything in it, Its not a big deal and it doesnt mean anything.”

Uhm. Does anyone see what went on there? Hypocrisy! 

The last thing is that she apparently invited Chris Kuhn, whom she doesnt even really know at all and isnt friends with, to the whole friday thing. He didnt go. We were talking about it, briefly, when Jen and I went over to Eric’s house to play some halo and Rockband. Funny stuff.

On to random boring things. I switched my phone from my Mom’s name, to mine and I was approved for 3 lines with no deposit… so that means my credit, though I dont have much, is pretty awesome! So that makes me happy. Also, my credit card limit was just recently raised from $500 to $1000 and I was late on one payment… so thats awesome sauce as well, so I’ve been buying a lot of stuff lately… >_>;;

Had a meeting at work today and I was just so out of it. Completely anti-social… but apparently in a couple weeks we have a new bra coming out with a ‘removable cookie’… when I heard cookie, and thankfully I wasnt the only one that thought this, but I was thinking of like a sugar cookie or something. Well, the bra doesnt come with edible sugar cookies or whatever. The leaf-shaped padding that you see in bras that are often lost in the washer because we forget to take them out and hand wash them instead (you ladies know what Im talking about) thats called a Cookie! Yeah. Funny stuff.

After the meeting I went to starbucks and ended up getting a free pomegranate tea thing. Awesome! Its so yummi I’m really babbling again… and Im rather bored… and its sunday so there isnt anything to do anyways. Awesome. u_u;

OH! A word of advice: NEVER TAKE SHOTS OF AFTER SHOCK. That shit’s positively atrocious. It tastes like a Fireball and it has these itty bitty crystals inside of it, and if one of those gets in your shot, God help you. It’ll fuck you up and the next day everything is going to taste like a fireball no matter what you do.

[273] Don’t stop the beat

It’s 3:26 in the morning and I’m still up, and Im downloading trance and techno music. Thats not good… not at all. Why. you wonder?

Because it wakes me up a lot and makes me wan to dance. Go to a club. Get sweaty and be hit on by disgusting guidos and tuesdays and tools (those are all the same thing! Ah ha). Drink. Party. Yeah. This is when I wish I had my license, and that it weren’t ungodly crappy outside cuz I would just take a drive, clear my mind and dance and sing in the car with techno blasting through my awesome speakers.

Wow, really? For a second wordpress told me that Techno was spelled incorrectly. Still doing it. Thats just silly.

I’ve mostly been downloading 4 Strings and Lasgo. Some songs I already have but am getting other remixes/versions of em… still awesome. Other songs are ones Ive been looking everywhere for a long period of time and somehow I managed to find them in like 5 minutes… what the christ? I can’t find one song though… and that’s Treasure Box by 4 Strings. Of course, I can just buy it off iTunes but what’s the fun in legally purchasing music? I’ll tell you what; there isn’t any. Yeah, keep that in mind next time youre being a good little boy or girl and buying music on iTunes. It makes you uncool. You don’t want that, now do you~

I kid, I kid. I really don’t have anything at all to update on. I just want to do something other than… sit here  trying to find something decent on tv to watch and failing. 

Hm… today was just plain old boring. I felt uncomfortable and awkward in this house which is probably why I haven’t gone to bed yet, despite being tired. I tried out the new bath tub though and it wasnt so bad. It just got really hot really fast and I put a little too much bubble bath… thingy… I was surrounded by bubbles indefinitely. Pretty funny. Once I got out, like 5 minutes later the shower started making like a fan… wind blowing.. sound. Apparently, it fricken cleans itself! Coolio.

Hmm… Luis is still lying to Jessica. And to think he loves her, right? What a pig. Least I told her the truth. Mom got upset though. She knows Ive been upset about this whole Luis thing and she hates seeing me ‘like this again’ and she told me that the only reason she’s nice to him when he’s around is for my sake but otherwise she could care less for him. She also said that he better not call me anymore, or he’ll call the cops. Which, I think is pretty funny. What would she tell them? that he’s calling his ex girlfriend and she cries about it? Yeah. Okay Mom. I love you but that’s just silly.

I also realized today that the only one saying I have feelings for Luis still, is Luis himself. Meh. Whatever. He’s getting his just desserts.

On a random (really random) note… I was watching, I think it was Cribs, and they showed Rod Stewarts daughter who’s name escapes me, obviously, and she showed the cars as they always do… and there was a Lamborghini parked outside the garage. It was a Murcielago. And when I looked at it I was like “Hey wait… that means.. BAT!” so I sat there and I was like how the hell did I not realize this before? And I realized it’s because of how everyone actually says Murcielago. All American. So it doesn’t even sound spanish, like it’s supposed to (or Italian I guess. I dont know what the italian word for bat is) so I had no idea until I actually saw it written. So yes. Lamborghini Murcielago means Lamborghini bat. Take that in. Chew on it. Its good for you.

And also did you know that Shrimp Scampi.. is actually Shrimp Shrimp? Scampi means Shrimp. Or so Ive been told. So it’s Shrimp Shrimp. Or Scampi Scampi. Haha… ohh I’m a silly bitch.

I should go to bed… @_@;

 

**Look at that! I started this entry at 3:26 and it was published at 3:50. I took quite long, didnt I :O! Not really. God im tired.**

[263] The Score

I’ve been obsessed with Sigur Rós’ song that was used for Prince of Persia 3 (video posted below) but now I’ve got something else to listen to…

When I saw the Twilight movie, a lot of the background music used was intriguing and really made the movie better to me. This didn’t include Paramore or Muse or any other popular bands that were used, it was actually all the instrumental stuff. I’m a huge fan of instrumental and classical music anyways so naturally I loved it and wondered if there was a way to get it and apparently Twilight producers and such thought ahead and made Twilight: The Score. Now.. I know people are probably thinking that I only like it because its Twilight related… I’m not that childish. carter Burwell is quite the composer. I only wish I had found him sooner.

So I’m listening to it now and it’s very, very exciting.

Which brings me to this article I read about Twilight being compared to Harry Potter and how it can’t beet Harry Potter… I have a lot of issues with this article and it isn’t because of what it’s really about but because of how it was done. How can you possibly compare the two? Here’s a little section fo the article that bugs me quite a bit;

The themes of Harry Potter’s saga — what it takes to be a hero and how to choose good in a world where evil always seems to win — are questions that actually matter to the human race. The Harry Potter series takes us out of ordinary life and into a fantastical world, but the characters’ emotions never stray from the truth of human existence.

Harry Potter is a fantasy character who real humans can see pieces of themselves in. And that’s something Edward Cullen can never beat, even if he does sparkle.

First of all. Why are they comparing the main character of Harry Potter (Harry) to a main character of Twilight (Edward)? THE main character in Twilight is Bella. Hence the book being written from her perspective. Also… I dont now about you but why evil ’seems’ to always win and what it takes to be a hero, isn’t really an important question to me and Im sure none of my friends or anyone else I know is really wondering every day about that. I dont see how Twilight strays from the truth of human existence but Harry Potter doesnt. Twilight is a love story involving a naive outcast girl in High School who falls in love with this badass, yet very awkward, guy that to her is impossibly perfect in every way. How is that… not normal? How is that not the truth of humanity in some places? Like really.

I mean I’m not doing a very good job of proving my case here but thats just because I can’t think straight due to the nonsense some of the people have spewed on this article alone. I mean really if you read some of the comments you’ll think like “What the fuck? Are you retarded?” and I’m pretty sure they are in some way. I’m not going to bother quoting any of them cuz I dont want that crap on here. What I write in here is bad enough without their help. So click that link and check it all out of yourself. I’m sure you’ll laugh quite a bit.

Oh wait actually! I will quote one of them because not many people may understand whats wrong with it except for one thing and I’m going to put some crucial parts in bold;

I just love hearing how Twilight fans go on and on about how Twilight is amazing. Quite frankly it’s not. The writing style is poor. I have read the early released chapters of Midnight Sun and it was so hideously awful I almost cried. Her word choices and style was horrid. It infuriates me how someone like Stephanie Meyer can become so well known and loved when she is a terrible writer. Harry Potter is just better all around though it’s not the best series I’ve ever read. it’s certainly better than Twilight. i have read all the Twilight books and I hate them. So Twilighters who are telling HP fans to read the books need not be hypocrites. Have any of you read the whole Harry Potter series? You can’t read a few chapters and then just put it down and say it sucks. Twilight will never be as big as Harry Potter. It’s a silly series that is just illogical. Things don’t happen like that in real life. Bella is a terrible person, as is Edward. Only good characters are Emmett and Leah, oh and Jacob is at times. Though he is still stupid.

Okay, lets uh… touch base on this. Midnight Sun… wasn’t supposed to be released at all. What he or she read wasn’t an official or final copy. Stephanie Meyer addressed that issue on her website that it was released on the internet without her consent before it was edited or even completed.  

The other thing is… Twilight is illogical and things like that wont happen in real life an yet everything in Harry Potter is real. Thats hilarious. I’ll leave you to think on that one on your own.

So yeah that was the rant I was talking about the other day.

There are other things that I want to write about but unfortunately those have to be private because of the nature of the issue. But lets just say…I win.

Did I mention Tales of Vesperia? Cuz I fricken love it. Though some parts are unnecessarily hard or quite unbalanced. This one part I was fighting an assassin named Zagi.  I used a magic lens on the sucker and it turns out he had 30565 health or something with 200+ attack power and 100+ defense and also he was level 22. Now usually in an rpg like this I avoid battles with random monsters for as long as possible simply because it takes longer and I’ve never had a problem with fighting at a low level before. But in ToV I’ve gotten into quite a few battles and I’ve leveled up significantly but still, when I reached Zagi he was level 22 and I was a mere 16 and the highest health any of my characers had was 1131 or so. Most of Zagi’s attacks you can barely manage to block, he’s extremely quick and clearly very powerful. So that was ridiculous but I did get through it after quite a few tries. And dying many many many times through out battle. Why the hell does my healer still not have resurrect? u_u

But regardless I still love the game to pieces <3 I’d say I’m going to go play now but instead I’m actually going to.. attempt to clean my room and draw for a bit~

[256] Lets take it from the top

Okay! So I just got home from my driver retraining class and jesus… I felt like it was sucking the life out of me. It was incredibly boring but thankfully we got out an hour early. Was fricken freezing in that damn room…

Anyways. I passed the test, then again it wasn’t really anything hard or something common sense couldn’t solve. The test will be at the DMV in Wethersfield by Wednesday and they’ll process it there and then I’ll get a letter and what not… so pretty much by next week Ill have my license back which is pretty awesome I guess.

Today… I woke up at 7am to my Dad drilling or sawing something in my bathroom… he was preparing the new cabinets for their marble countertops which were to be installed later on in the day. It was awful waking up to that… but I had work at 9 so it wasn’t too bad. I was opening with Lauren and she was in a relatively bad mood all day because she seems to be very sick actually. She doesn’t really know whats wrong but it hasn’t gotten too better since thanksgiving. I tried to stay out of her way as much as possible but of course when I’m opening with Lauren for some god awful reason I always fuck something up and I look like a fool in front of her. Which is the main reason why I didn’t want to work with her. We kind of have this unspoken competitiveness in our relationship. It became apparent to me like last year with the whole Everett thing and when she stopped hanging out with everyone from CCSU. So yeah… but I got through it and left at 2.

When I got home, my guitar was in the garage waiting for me! I was so happy. My mom didn’t know it was an electric guitar though. Was kinda funny. In unpacking the guitar I decided to clean my room to make space for it and also so that when the Direct TV guy came, my room wouldn’t be embarrassing. So I cleaned up everything off the floor and put whatever it is I dont use or need in boxes… this included my Dreamcast and all its games and controls and a bunch of crap inside the smaller dresser drawers. I then moved my sewing machine (which is still int he box) to the  little corner between my tv and dresser and got rid of all the empty alcohol bottles… I was just going to move them somewhere else but Mom called me an alcoholic and threw them out.

I then moved the 360 next to the Wii, which is next to the ps2, and moved the box the 360 came in under the tiny table which has all the consoles on top of it. The games I moved to where my dreamcast was which is on top of my DVD player. All the other crap that was originally on the table next to the wii was moved to my huge Mac box which I also used as a table for all my other crap…. Next to my night stand thing I put my guitar on its stand and the amp!

My room is rather small so I gotta work with a lot of silly things to make it work like using a giant mac box as a floor level table. lol. The only thing left to do would be to put away whatever clothes are on the leopard print bench at the foot of my bed. But. I dont feel like it. I did enough cleaning. And the bastard TV guy didnt even come today.

My guitar is gorgeous. It’s Candy Apple Red, like I mentioned before, but from the pictures I saw it looked like a brighter red than it actually is. Its more of a crimson color and of course it has that sparkly effect but its subtle. Its so fricken beautiful. I still need to tune it and stuff though. It’s 10pm though so I wont be able to mess with the amp… but I dont have to go in to work tomorrow so I’ve got all day to work on it I’m so excited!

On Saturday I went over to Jen’s, thankfully she picked me up! <3 Ryan, Cowdrey, his girlfriend Liz, Amanda and Ray were there. Joe came later on before he departed to work. Ximena didn’t feel good so she didn’t come. Diego was mia. Apparently he never got back to Jen and when I called him his phone took me straight to voicemail. :/

We rocked out on Rockband 2 and unfortunately I didnt sing as great as I do at home. Not that Im a fantastic singer, but my voice doesn’t crack. Then again in the privacy of your own home, you’re not nervous… but whatever. Ill just practice more. Hopefully my friends aren’t opposed to me giving it another shot at a later time >_>;;; if I gain the courage that is. Amanda sang “You oughta know” by Alanis Morrisette and she sang quite well, she was also a very good drummer. Jen didn’t sing, she mostly was drummer and sometimes guitarist though she claims she sucks at guitar which… was news to me. Ryan hogged the mic the majority of the time.

After Rockband, Ray and Ryan tried out Mirror’s Edge. It was quite funny watching them play though we made it extremely easy for them because Jen and I pretty much told them what to do and where to go. They’ve both decided to get the game as soon as possible.

Around 12am Jen drove me home. I felt awful because she also had to drive Ryan home simply because he wanted to stay later… but she didn’t seem to mind too much… though I hope it doesn’t happen again for her sake.

Uh… before that I really dont remember much. All I’ve done really is work… Kyle and I got into a tiff though and he’s just been so cold hearted and douchebag-ish that I simply told him I was tired of putting so much effort into talking to him and keeping our friendship going without him even so much as thinking about it and just flat out told him not to talk to me anymore, and he hasn’t. I’m not too surprised though, after all he’s got the oh-so-wonderful Lauren Craigy or whatever — the chick he’s a little to close friends with.

Suck though. I already bought him a present and probably won’t even be able to give it to him.

Uhhh. When Mom was taking me to the class, we passed by Joey Garlic’s and I hadn’t even noticed. But she suddenly asked if Luis still calls me. I was confused and asked what brought that up and she said that.. yeah she saw the restaurant. I told her no and that Im glad, but that his girlfriend is psycho and apparently stalks me. She then proceeded to ask why she was still with Luis and that she’s stupid… she literally said “That girl is stupid. I would never stay with a guy I couldnt trust and I’m glad you were smart enough not to bother with him.” it was hilarious! First time in a long time that Luis was brought up and I can easily say that there are no lingering feelings. Despite everything (my parental drama, my license being gone, kyle being a jerk and me being single), I’m so goddamn happy. I really don’t want anything to change. This is good.

Not much else to write about. I’m gonna go molest my awesome guitar!

[254] Not a fan, sir, not a fan

Happy Thanksgiving, yeah. Now that we got that out of the way…

I bought a guitar! And she’s beautiful. I don’t have it with me yet… I’m getting it on Monday cuz I ordered it online. It’s Mom’s xmas gift to me it’s so pretty though! It’s a Fender Starcaster in ‘Candy Apple Red‘… Did you expect it in any other color? Of course not, I live for red! ^-^ I’m so excited. I’m not taking any lessons though. Everyone that I know that play a Bass or Guitar have taught themselves and since I know so many I’m pretty sure if I had any questions none of them would mind answering. Though it would primarily be Jen that I would ask seeing as… my other guys play Bass and Piano… what the fuck?! lol Oh! And Edward is learning to play Guitar too so I can ask him for pointers (Lauren’s bf). He plays Bass as well so I’m sure he’ll have no problem learning Guitar.. and he did offer to teach me bass…

I am going to learn bass as well though just not yet. I’m also going to get a Piano! Or rather, a keyboard. I’ve wanted to learn Piano since I was 3 and apparently it runs in my Fathers side of the family. They literally all started playing at the age of 3 and branched out into other instruments so… it’s a very musical family so I guess that’s where I get this from. After all my real pops was a DJ. The keyboard I found is only about $200 online and it has lessons right on it, and again I can always ask a number of people for help if I need it which.. will probably be primarily Steve. So by next month I’ll have both. I can afford the keyboard right now its just.. why would I start learning two completely different instruments at the same time…

But anyways! I had a dream that I was playing the Piano, and though the meaning of the actual dream meant that I needed some ‘harmony’ in my life, it pushed me to getting one. Plus it helped that Robert Pattinson was in there. lol.

Also on Monday… we’re finally getting our new countertops for the bathroom.. if Dad decides to install everything then our bathroom will be completed! And it’ll be awesome. I’m so tired of sharing a bathroom… I hate sharing a bathroom! I don’t know why, really, I just think its disgusting having other people in my bathroom. Naked. And stuff.

Aside from our bathroom possibly being finished, I have my retraining program to go to from 6-10. Mom said she’d go with me so I wouldn’t get bored but really what could she do to keep me entertained in there?… Nothing O_o; besides I’m perfectly capable of surviving a boring class for a number of hours. Thats what High School was for!

Lets see what else… I’ll get my license back after that class too and once THAT happens, Mom is giving me the keys to her apartment and I’ll be staying there for as long s I want to by myself. So I can practice my guitar without interruptions and just chill out, have some people over.. no parties though. I don’t want to u_u But it’ll be so nice to get away from everyone and everything, and I can work on my art and stuff! And I wont have to be confined to my room~

I also have to work on Monday… a lot of things going on that day O_o my schedule starting Sunday is just utter crap to begin with:

Friday 11am-330pm (yayyyy Black Pink {haha, get it? Cuz I fork at Victoria’s Secret and we sell PINK?… hehe… yeah…} Friday…)

Saturday 1230pm-430pm

Sunday 6pm-12am

Monday 9am-2pm

Tuesday 6am-10am

Wednesday 10am-2pm

Seriously?! Im opening 3 days in a row! My nights will be free but it won’t matter if I have to be up early as hell the next day. T_T

Uh. I forgot what else I wanted to write about. I got distracted by my music… Ive become rather obsessed with Lady GaGa. Diego showed me her “Just Dance” music video WAAAAAYYYY before she became popular. I didn’t know she had other songs though… so yeah that’s what distracted me.

As the title of this entry states, I am not a fan and if you couldn’t tell or didn’t know, I’m not a fan of Thanksgiving. I dislike my family and since my Mom and Dad don’t even live together anymore… this holiday is more a slap in the face than anything else O_o; Then again I’m generally not a Holiday person anyways. But still. 

Mom still came over though and she’s still making a turkey but nobody is coming over and I’m pretty sure she’s leaving once she finishes cooking. But I hav no idea really. And Dad was supposed to be working and going over to his Sister’s today so I’m most likely going to be home alone… I remember a couple years back Diego and I went over Jen’s after our thanksgiving meal and hung out there and hung out. We messed around with a glove and Diego blue air into it and pretty much turned it into a balloon and Jen played.. Max Payne I think it was. It was so much fun. Pictures were taken of course and I would post some of them but I would only with their consent. But yeah… a lot of fun but unfortunately we can’t do that again I’m sure. Jen would probably go over to Joe’s or something, I don’t have transportation and Diego’s family probably wants to keep him there since he lives at school. D: ah such is life.

Its cool though. Not like I’ve grown used to being stuck at home… lol

‘Control your poison babe, roses have thorns they say

And we’re all getting hosed tonight’